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Women Tell Women How To Control Premenstrual Syndrome Stephanie DeGraff Bender & Kathleen Kelleher The Supermom Syndrome If you are a mother, one of your greatest fears at times is that you are not a good mother. Other people are not saying this to you, but you may be telling yourself this. Why? Because your anxiety and guilt about premenstrual behavior builds up and carries over into your good time. Most likely you will try to overcompensate for your premenstrual behavior. Because you think that you acted badly when you were premenstrual, you think that you have to make up for your behavior when you feel back to normal again. Overcompensating for your premenstrual behavior clearly causes more, not fewer problems. PMS Runs In Families Most of the evidence suggests that PMS runs in families. If you have PMS, most likely your mother did, too. If your mother (or sister or grandmother) was often angry and teary, but also had times when everything seemed fine, she probably had PMS. Many women confirm that their mothers or sisters also had or have PMS. Getting Better: Taking Care Of All Of You Putting It All Together You know your mind and body better than anyone else. Trust how you feel. Become aware of your mental patterns and physical habits. PMS is treatable. Begin now to chart your symptoms. Start now to eat correctly, exercise, and carry out the self-help exercises. Get started during your good time. Avoid setups for failure -- in your thinking, emotions, diet, and exercise plan. Create a PMS folder where you keep everything -- especially your charts and your exercise records-in one place for recording and reinforcement. Reduce stress and simplify your life during your PMS time. Schedule important meetings and deadlines for other times. Don't take on extra work or extra people (at home) during your PMS time. Achieve a balance -- in diet, exercise, sleep, work, and play. Remember that physical activities affect mental activities, and vice versa. Eat well so you can think clearly. Think in a way that helps you eat appropriately. Set aside time to do the things you enjoy. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing that you can do for yourself and your family during your PMS time. It is your responsibility to regain control. While you are recovering, don't look for external causes to your problems. Focus on yourself -- your own mind, your own body. Take care of your emotions and state of mind, and your relationships with others will begin to heal. You are in charge of getting better, but keep in mind that you are not alone. Call on your husband or lover, friends, family, therapist, and doctor to help you. You need a support system. Assure your own professional well-being. If necessary, talk with your employer and explain that you have a medical disorder that is being treated. Be firm -- but gentle -- with yourself when you are on the road to recovery. The idea is to solve the problem, not create another one. Acknowledge how you've changed and progressed. Notice how you are helping yourself, see how you are becoming stronger. Relearn self-respect, self-trust, and self-love. Be patient with yourself.