Pregnancy and the Expectant Father

Every woman has concerns about pregnancy and all of the physical and emotional changes that take place. It is a time of introspection. The primary focus becomes just you and your new baby, and with that comes a commonly overlooked person in your life - the father-to-be. The father's concern is for you and the baby, and it is important to help him feel a part of the process. Many expectant fathers can feel left out during the pregnancy. We are offering some suggestions on how to turn common situations around to be inclusive rather than exclusive of the father-to-be.

Prenatal visits to the health care provider: Expectant fathers are welcome to participate in appointments and share exciting moments, such as hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time.

Feeling the physical restrictions and changes during pregnancy: The father-to-be can show his support by developing healthy habits such as eating a balanced diet, exercising, and getting adequate rest. He can also offer support by giving up unhealthy habits such as smoking, eating junk food, and drinking alcoholic beverages along with the mother-to-be.

Get Educated: Learning about what to expect during the pregnancy, birth, and your new role as parent is important for both parents-to-be. Attend childbirth classes designed for fathers and attend and participate in birthing classes together. Reach out and speak with family, friends and colleagues who have become new fathers.

Make contact with your baby: A woman has an advantage in this area because she is carrying the new family member. Expectant fathers can make a connection by talking, reading, and singing to the baby frequently so he or she can hear his voice and be able to recognise it after delivery. Do attempt to enjoy the baby's kicks and squirms by resting your hand or cheek on the mom's abdomen. This is a nice way to share the excitement.

Getting ready: Share in the preparations, help plan and set up the nursery, go shopping for all of the baby things that will need to be purchased.

Talk it out: If you do not communicate, no one will know if you are feeling left out. This can be an exciting time, so if you are feeling excluded from the pregnancy, speak up!

Common issues that arise and are worth talking about with each other, a therapist and/or your Health Care Provider:

• Intimacy: Even though the provider has assured you that intercourse is safe throughout pregnancy, concerns may come up. Fear that your sex life will be over after the baby is born. Fear that the vagina and breasts are now being used for procreation will inhibit sexual intimacy.
• Mood swings: Highs and lows are very common due to hormonal fluctuations.
• Sympathy Symptoms: This is when the father-to-be experiences symptoms such as morning sickness. This is a true phenomenon, not an old wives tale.
• Anxiety: Concerns that something may go wrong with the mother-to-be and/or the baby's health, whether you will do everything right during the delivery, whether you will be a good parent and be able to bond with the baby.
• Exclusion during breastfeeding: There are plenty of other ways to bond and share meaningful moments with your newborn. Many find alternating formula with breast milk or pumping breast milk possible solutions.