Perimenopause and Menopause/Symptoms »   Holy Cow!

When I first started discovering what was going on with me, I sat down and made a list of all of my symptoms or problems. I was amazed just looking at my list. Once giving it a thorough look I realized that I must be some pathetic washed up ole hag. How could I like myself when I had all these problems. How could I possibly think of having a normal life. I had a partial hysterectomy at age 30, so the periods were not an issue. But since I wasn't missing periods I had no idea what was happening to me, it didn't occur to me it was menopause. I just knew something had gone haywire in my life and wasn't right. Here's my list:

insomnia, night sweats, day sweats, hot flashes, moodiness (sometimes I think I'm just plain out hateful), depression, lack of libido (absolutely NO sex drive), exhaustion, weight gain-oh lord; eating less but gaining more, crying spells, lack of desire for almost anything in life, memory loss or forgetfulness. I'm sure I'm missing something, but then again, that's probably due to my memory loss.

I feel like there has been a metamorphis of some sort, but I sure didn't turn into a butterfly!!! More like a hobbit! If anyone saw the Dr. Braverman show on the Doctors (which I know most of you did)...that is why I and so many others can identify with what he said.

But his message like so many others, is to have women empower ourselves, learn and take action to get our lives back. I'm working on this and will not tolerate someone telling me this is just an emotional problem or that maybe I need more exercise to feel better. This is a true medical issue and I thank God, that I'm not clueless any longer.

Thank you admin for this site that we can share and help each other along during what can be such a difficult transition in life. Maybe at some point I can turn into that butterfly and I'm working on it! LOL

Peace!

Hey Theresa,
Here's hoping your having a great day! :) Your post is so kind! And yes, you hit the nail on the head for me with your descriptions...in addition to all of the above (I forgot to mention..LOL) that my hair is thinning yet at the same time, I get unwanted hair...go figure!

I know what you mean about the "nobody is home" syndrome. I've got it too! It really sucks to put it bluntly. I have always been an outgoing person. Loved being social. However in the last 6 months I have become more reclusive than ever. It's soooo strange. That is NOT who I am and have been.

I'm with you on the thought of needing anti-depressants. But I've decided against that unless it's a last resort. The symptoms of depression and hormone imbalance is so similar that I think that is why alot of doctors just want the quick fix by prescribing anti depressants. But I believe the problem with that is, sure the "happy pill" is possibly getting you to where you're not depressed as much, but if your hormones are out of wack, then you still will have some issues that anti-depressants aren't addressing. I want to try to handle my hormones first and see if that changes things. Especially if I can do it through the bio-identicals. But everyone of us are different and what works for one may not work for another.

I think you and I are very much alike. I really am feeling good about being able to talk about this with ladies that understand, since they are in the same boat. And thank you for sharing as well, it really does help...

And as far as sweet....you should have seen me earlier...Whew...but I can't remember what I was mad at.... ;) LOL

Talk to ya later!

Ladies!, I just read your letters, how much we have in common, Darla I will be eager to hear how your testing works for you. You ladies are so funny, I love reading your letters. I have to run, but will be back to talk when I can. LOL kim

Hi Darla - Oh yeah, I forgot the hair growth issue too. For me the expression "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin" has become all too real! LOL I've tried electrolysis and am thinking of laser next but it's so expensive. I really identify regarding the reclusive thing. I always loved people and socializing but now I just want to curl up in a corner because I just can't concentrate on conversations and honestly, too much talking becomes overwhelming for me. Which is TOTALLY not like me, who could always talk for hours and hours. The insomnia is new in the last year also. I've always been a bit of a night hawk but now it's just ridiculous. I go on about four or five hours sleep now and I've always needed more than that.

I agree with you regarding the antidepressants. I am going to try the hormones again before I resort to anything else. Though I have been taking xanax and more recently, klonopin for the anxiety. I did try several antidepressants last year, ones that I had been on in the past and did okay on, but they made the anxiety much worse. Nobody could explain that to me and I had to stop taking them. I'm at my wits end quite honestly. I'm praying next week when I have the hormones tested and can get started that I get the results so many other women have gotten. That would be like a miracle. I am really afraid of the antidepressants after my last experience with them.

I agree that keeping busy is a very big help. For some reason this house has overwhelmed me. I have the additional issue of fibromyalgia; or at least that's what they call it. I've had periods over the years of "remission" but the last few months have had a huge flair and am now having a lot of pain. The more I've tried to unpack the less I've been able to use my arms. Any repetitive motion now causes severe pain in my neck and upper back and down my arms. After Christmas I had to lay low for a while so things would settle down and when I started up again it was awful. I've been getting acupuncture treatments that help a lot, but it doesn't last. Anyway, I don't mean to whine but it's been difficult to keep busy lately. I know I'd be much better off if I could. My doctor had x-rays done Friday so maybe something will show up that can be fixed and I'll get rid of that issue anyway. I don't think you're neurotic at all. LOL In fact you remind me of me. I always did my own painting and papering and loved it. I feel bad now because people tell me I must be so excited being in a new house and getting to do all the redecorating and I just have no interest. It used to be that my mind would start racing with all the ideas for paint and curtains, etc.....I get nothing. Blank! Empty! I tell you, there is nobody home up there anymore.

I gather you live in a part of the country where you don't have snow right now? I do look forward to spring when I can get out and plant my flowers. I love large amounts of perennials in my yard and this house had none, so I will have my work cut out for me come spring. Unless things change, I'm going to have to have someone else do my digging though. LOL I don't know if there will be anyplace for vegetables. I've never grown veggies but had looked forward to trying them. I'll have to look into some container gardens for tomatoes at least. But for now, it's still too cold. I'm living in central New York and it's been a long winter already.

Well I think I've complained long enough. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and are not killing yourself painting. Wish I could help you! LOL

Theresa

Hi new to site and new to BHRT and too many questions!!! Maybe someone can help? So I have been on oral bioidentical and just started the creams: estrogen, dhea and testosterone and then progesterone (sp???) sub lingual. So my questions: My doc is okay but certainly did not spend enough time with me. Ug. Need someone in AZ, anyone have suggestions? Is there a special place I need to apply the creams? Do I let them dry before putting on clothes? How long to wait till shower? How long till I start feeling better - because so far (14 days) I feel like crap. Kinda depressed, some hotish flashes (not the real thing but just hot!) and kind of generally unhappy. Doc's office said to chill and that it takes months since I was in menopause even with the pills. I'm kinda discouraged. Also, I keep reading about people gaining weight and that freaks me out but I have lost my appetite.

Can anyone help?